HUNGOVER PORTLAND

Mood Swing Sunday with The National.

I'm continuing to experience a lot of personal stress which I try to keep safely bottled up.  I don't see much reason to have all of my relationships affected at this point - my poor boyfriend sadly can't escape the bulk of it.  I work really, really hard on putting on a solid game face when it is game face time. 

Today is a day for my game face.  A few people will be here to watch the Oscars later on and I would like to enjoy it.  I'm cleaning my house and head and for some reason asking The National to perk me up.

This is a mistake.

In earlier days, The National's "Alligator" was so often the perfect choice for thinking about, and regretting, drinking, partying, fucking, loving, etc.  They have lyrics about being drunk sparkling and running and laughing and feeling a little lost while trying to be great at mediocrity.  And it was poetic, so I could feel smart and pained simultaneously.  I loved it!

I just got the newer album "Boxer" and I realize that they have grown up, just like I have.  The lyrics are more about loneliness and faking it through stale expectations.  This song "Green Gloves" is a downer right now.  He sings:

Falling out of touch with all my
friends are somewhere getting wasted,
hope they’re staying glued together,
I have arms for them.

Okay.  That is not going to work for today.  I am turning off The National, but will keep it handy for when I am ready to mope, which will likely be soon.  Now I'm gonna listen to Vengaboys and TLC until it is time to watch television and be social.

It is possible I'll attempt a half-assed live blog later on.  I realize that the internet seriously lacks oscar coverage, and my legions of fans rely on me for news.  Delivering is a possibility.  I love you guys. xo.

Hello, V Day. Hello, Frosting.

I didn't work in this office building last Valentine's Day, so I had no idea that they bring in MINI BROWNIES WITH PINK FROSTING AND SPRINKLES to celebrate this retarded holiday.  At 8:30 this morning, I found myself suddenly in the mood to celebrate. 

Then later, after I just finished lunch, and went into the office kitchen to wash up.  The skinny girl who always eats a salad for lunch was in there, next to the brownies.  "Excuse me, Tiny, " I said, "I need more frosting."  (I didn't actually call her Tiny, but I felt like it.  Salad? Every day?  Please.)

Anyways, this sugar coma reminds me that too much frosting in a bad thing, plus that pink dye probably gave me cancer of whatever body part processes feelings of hunger, confusion, and rage.

I fucking hate Valentine's Day. 

Last year I went to QFC alone at about 8pm on Valentine's Day evening.  I was headed to my boyfriend's house, but the people at the store didn't know that.  Anyways, I grabbed two party pizzas, a pint of ice cream, a huge bottle of wine, and a bag of Doritos.  (What.)  The looks that people gave me when they saw what I was carrying around...it's like I had some sort of terrible face rash, like sparkly scabs on my forehead that wrote out SINGLE AND UNLOVABLE.  I milked the pity.  I gave strangers half-smiles as I shuffled around alone.  "He still might call" I explained with my eyes.  "I might not always be alone."  I found a clerk and asked if the chocolate was on sale yet.  He couldn't even look at me.

That was an awesome time.

I plan on spending V-Day on the couch, with a hangover, watching Battlestar Galactica, like it is any other winter Sunday.  I'll avoid pink frosting until then; it is probably super gross to barf up after a bender.

Happy weekend, my Valentines!

It's like the world just wants me to be happy.

Lady Gaga and Elton John will soon be performing together at the Grammys.

Fuck me, this is going to be awesome.

Turn on your televisions in 30.

I LOVE THE GAGA.

I can't help it; she is fabulous.  I have been enjoying an afternoon on the couch with cats, watching videos and grinning like an idiot.  If I saw her in person, I would probably squeal and jump up and down. 

This video is not the best quality, but the song and performance are wonderful. 

I actually paused and minimized the video the first time through because my boyfriend wandered into the living room.  He's been cleaning the garage while I've been watching gaga videos and I think he is getting irritated.  He is not a little monster...yet.

Oh, and and now I hear the shopvac.  I've got another few minutes.  What can I watch next....

FU U2. This is better.

Yesterday was a wild and crazy day.  We looked at houses and made the social rounds.  I had a beer at each stop (plus a delicious burrito at one).  I maintained sobriety and we made it home for the season premiere of SNL.  The show it completely hit or miss but I still enjoy watching it.

I've said this before, but I will say it again: I FUCKING HATE U2.  Bono is just such a colossal turd.  It is commendable that he is using his fame to save Africa, but who wears yellow raver shades when meeting with Nelson Mandela?  Turds, that's who. 

Anyways, the second song they performed reminded me of Russell Brand's song from the excellent "Forgetting Sarah Marshall." 

Happy Sundays with a little of this:



Sodomize intolerance on this sunny day.

Friday mornings with Joneser

Let me just start by saying that I am not hungover and will get a lot more done at work than I did yesterday.  Still, I am jonesin' up my quiet, gray office morning with two special treats:

1. Van Morrison's Astral Weeks.  I did not realize until about a month ago that I love Van Morrison, and now I cannot stop listening to this album.  "Sweet Thing" makes my heart all gooey. 

2. Girl blog Heartless Doll.  I had been seeking a substitute for the increasingly cringe-tastic Jezebel for quite some time, and I may have found it.  She is smart, funny, and pretty - just like me and all of my friends.

Have nice days, party animals.

xoxo

Lazy Sunday.

Last night was one of these kinds of nights:

Warm late summer night in my friends' beautiful back yard, watching friends play music, drinking beer and white russians, holding hands, playing with fireworks and light.  It was totally one of those feelings and atmospheres you wish you could capture and revisit whenever you wanted. 

Today I have been lazy and happy.  I've baked three kinds of bread.

This Sunday evening is too pleasant to do anything else on my computer. 

I hope everybody else is enjoying these last gasps of summer.

xo

Home from trivia

I am really drunk. Just threw up.  I certainly can't drink like I used to!  So tired.  But I couldn't not google this song that stumped us tonight:

God damn that fucking shit.  FUCK SHIT PUSSY.

Anyways, bedtime for Joneser!  Sleep time, Thursday warriors.  See y'all tomorrow.  I'm gonna be making coleslaw and gearing up for a bestie's engagement party.

Big funky by the hand pretty mama hugs to you all by the hand pretty mama all night long, in dixieland.

xoxo

Oh my, don't we love these Saturdays of July....Let's have fun on a budget!

It will be warm and wonderful tomorrow.  How do sunny days make your friends so beautiful, the songs so perfect, and the beer so delicious?  Be hungover, get a hangover, whatever - weekends of Portland summer are fucking amazing. 

And they can be so cheap!

Here are some highlights of my hungover/getting hungover summer Saturdays thus far, and recommendations for my budget-conscious boozehound readers:

Laying in the yard with a book while my boyfriend plays guitar and my cat wanders around, purring.

Supplies needed: guitar, cat, book, and somebody who plays guitar
Cost: free!

Grilling fresh summer vegetables

Supplies needed: whatever veggies you can get for free, some salt, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and a hot grill
Cost: free, if you've got a friend or relative with too much ripe produce.  (I do.)  But still, less than $5 for a zucchini, a couple of bell peppers, and an onion. 

The world will know...that Newsies rocks.

I settled into yesterday evening with a tried and true method for feeling better.  It is the perfect combination of several excellent movies: "Gangs of New York," "Matewan," "Peter Pan," and "Chicago."




Oh yes. Yessssss.