HUNGOVER PORTLAND

Mood Swing Sunday with The National.

I'm continuing to experience a lot of personal stress which I try to keep safely bottled up.  I don't see much reason to have all of my relationships affected at this point - my poor boyfriend sadly can't escape the bulk of it.  I work really, really hard on putting on a solid game face when it is game face time. 

Today is a day for my game face.  A few people will be here to watch the Oscars later on and I would like to enjoy it.  I'm cleaning my house and head and for some reason asking The National to perk me up.

This is a mistake.

In earlier days, The National's "Alligator" was so often the perfect choice for thinking about, and regretting, drinking, partying, fucking, loving, etc.  They have lyrics about being drunk sparkling and running and laughing and feeling a little lost while trying to be great at mediocrity.  And it was poetic, so I could feel smart and pained simultaneously.  I loved it!

I just got the newer album "Boxer" and I realize that they have grown up, just like I have.  The lyrics are more about loneliness and faking it through stale expectations.  This song "Green Gloves" is a downer right now.  He sings:

Falling out of touch with all my
friends are somewhere getting wasted,
hope they’re staying glued together,
I have arms for them.

Okay.  That is not going to work for today.  I am turning off The National, but will keep it handy for when I am ready to mope, which will likely be soon.  Now I'm gonna listen to Vengaboys and TLC until it is time to watch television and be social.

It is possible I'll attempt a half-assed live blog later on.  I realize that the internet seriously lacks oscar coverage, and my legions of fans rely on me for news.  Delivering is a possibility.  I love you guys. xo.

I have said it once, and I'll say it again: I LOVE THE INTERNET

Another day spent bleeding from eyes as I try to finish writing this thing that does not want to be written.

I take a breather on buzzfeed, and find the thing I never knew I needed to see:

It is Tom Selleck at a waterfall with a sandwich.  Everything will be okay; things around me are beautiful again, and I experience peace.

And there is so much more.

And also:

I've been watching this a few times per weekend since it originally aired, and each time I laugh like a fucking idiot.

More Asian breakfasts in felony flats

Yesterday morning I got up at the asscrack of dawn after sending a wonderful friend off to California with copious amounts of alcohol.  I felt like shit and seriously wanted to watch cartoons but a friend was coming over to help Mr. Joneser change up our electrical...stuff?...and my job was to stay the hell out of the way and provide snacks.  My hangover begged for grease, my wallet (which was weak from a massive Home Depot excursion) asked me to be nice, and those hardworking boys needed substance.

I turned to Best Baguette, on Powell just above 82nd.  People kind of freak out about crossing 82nd, but quit being such fucking babies and get yourselves some delicious and CHEAP food. Best Baguette's thing is vietnamese sandwiches.  I like the vegetarian, which consists of fried tofu, some noodles, shredded vegetables, and a shitload of cilantro and jalapenos on crunchy, fresh french bread.  I hear the pork is also bomb.

And tell me this, you trendy eaters: where else in this fucking town can you get not 2, not 3, not even 4, but 5 large and awesome sandwiches for $14.55?  You can't tell me where, because there is no other place.

I was there for takeout at about 10:45am, and the place was packed with Vietnamese families.  It made me happy.  I'm so into diversity, I thought to myself, and gave myself a progressive liberal pat on the back.  Then I packed my tummy with salty grease and diet coke, and told that hungover to fuck the fuck off.  And it did.

You should go there some time.

Working is okay. Not great, but okay.

Last night was another meetup night with some internet friends.  Beer, wine, vodka, and board games always make for a fun evening.  I stayed up past my bedtime and drank more than I have in - um - a few days, at least.  I was having too much fun to avoid mixing types of booze or avoiding sugary drinks, and TA DA, I have a hangover at work today.  I was not surprised.

My boyfriend delivered me a painkiller and coffee this morning and I tried to stay in bed long enough for the pain to subside.  Then I realized that I was getting considerably and (worse) noticeably late for work.  The shower caused me physical pain and I dressed with the lights off. 

And then - pouf - headache gone.  I almost feel sorry for the younger version of me who was way too cool for painkillers.  I probably was bitchy/useless a lot more than I am now.

Even though my head is fine, I still feel a little dumb here at work.  Thankfully, the office has been very, very quiet, and I can calmly think about how fucking radical it is that I now own a James Brown Christmas album AND a masturbating dinosaur.  (THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT.  JEALOUS? YOU SHOULD BE JEALOUS.  THANKS, AF!!)

Perhaps the best thing to come out of a most excellent drunken Thursday night: I did not watch my favorite television shows, which means THEY ARE WAITING FOR ME ON THE INTERNET AS I TYPE.  Fuck Friday nights on the town; I'm going to ride out this not-too-bad hangover straight to 6pm sweatpants and sitcoms.  I'm relieved to have an excuse to remain the laziest person I know.

Have fun weekends!  I hope they are as comfortable/more interesting than mine.

xo

Breakfast, phase two.

I am going to share some valuable information with you. 

People in this city like breakfast so much that they'll loiter on sidewalks for hours to get a table and pay $12 for eggs.  I don't do that.  Waiting for hangover food is simply unacceptable.  So I am obsessed with finding non-busy places where I can quickly and quietly nurse my wounds.  And we just found a new spot in our new hood.  This means a great deal to me.  I will tell you about it, because I like you, but you better not fucking ruin it.

Maple Leaf Chinese American Cafe.  Foster Road. It is the closest restaurant to our house and probably the only place I'll dine in the a.m. until we move out of the neighborhood or I get fat.

The Maple Leaf is a fabulous and unique spot.  My boyfriend suggested I call it "fusion" but I think that is a stupid word.  What you need to know is that you can get sweet and sour pork in an omelette, covered with velveeta-like cheese.  Sound weird?  It's super fucking weird.  But it is super fucking awesome.  They've got a whole American diner menu, and a whole Chinese menu, and a handful of bizarro combos.  The staff was kind and I don't think they would make anybody feel bad for wearing last night's makeup out in public; they keep your coffee cups full.

I'll be honest, there were moments when I thought I was going to throw up at breakfast, but I think that was my hangover talking, and not the food. Now my eggs and potatoes are resting comfortably in my tummy and there is some movie on the television which features a puppy talking to forest animals, including frogs, birds, and a koala?  The day is looking up!

Lunch

This has been a gigantic party weekend.  Yesterday was rough, but my hangover eased up just as it was time to go out and get drunk again.  I drank enough to think that I could rap at karaoke, which is always a good/terrible sign.

Today we've been hustling to get packed and organized.  I did so happily knowing that we planned on lunch from my favorite North Portland restaurant, Eddie's.  Jesus Christ, it is so fucking good.  Don't be fooled by its boring appearance and interior; the food is slammin'.  The salads normally rock my world, but today's hangover and drizzly weather compelled me to try the hot veggie sandwich, and holy shit am I glad I did.  It was so greasy, huge, cheesy, satisfying.  I only ate half and feel close to dying of fullness. 

I'm going to go back to work in hopes that I can become hungry enough later tonight to eat the second half.  This an important goal.

Folks: if you're in North Portland, or even if you're not, check out Eddie's for maximum comfort food hangover relief.  It is like giving your stomach a huge hug which might be a little bit painful, but still feels so, so good.

The ultimate Sunday dilemna

I stirred in bed for a while this morning, looking out at gray clouds, listening to my boyfriend eating cereal and to my cats purring.

I have joined a gym (more on that later) and come to enjoy weekend morning exercise.

I am also a gigantic fan of Bloody Mary Sundays.

Both would make me feel awesome for totally separate reasons.

What do I do?

Do something important today. Television.

Lazy bums: are you sitting inside on this beautiful autumn day?

I fuckin' am!  Cool weather = dark beer = consistent Saturday headache/gas.

Anyways, this is my favorite new thing:

There are 4 episodes of Community on hulu.  Watch them all; feel productive.  This beautiful fall weather will last forever, and this show is straight up excellent. Stay inside.

Inspiration.

The always reliable cheezburger network is what you get from me right now.

And perhaps more importantly:

Via from here