HUNGOVER PORTLAND

A family hangover.

I debated how drunk to get when all of the folks came over on Saturday.  I was nervous.

We'd asked everybody to bring wine, but I smartly sipped beer.  I can sip beer without getting hammered for a lot longer than I can sip wine.  As such, I slowly and discretely got mildly drunk as the parents tensely stared one another down.

I'm exaggerating.  It was actually an okay afternoon.  But I am glad it is over. I have a very modern family situation, whereas Mr. Joneser's is more old-school.  Plus I've got divorced parents and step-parents, so we outnumbered them. (I was cool with that.)  Even though it went well enough, I am so fucking glad it is over.

The next day I was stupid from my slow, steady alcohol intake, and from having such a massive weight lifted from my shoulders, which resulted in a giggly day of rest and recovery.  I reminded myself that the rest of the wedding planning has got to be easier, and my headache didn't seem too bad.

01022010!

Happy new year, friends!

2009 was a pretty epic year for me.  I moved in with a newly sober boyfriend, our cats became friends, I switched jobs, turned 27, drove to Montana and back, bought a house, and topped the year off with a perfect vacation in Mexico.  I brought back a bug and crossed into the new decade with a belly full of pepto.  Sad, but fucking worth it, because I had a fabulous tan while puking.

I was going to blog from abroad, but was too busy resting and swimming and eating and drinking.  I think the most epic hangover of the trip was following the night that Yahtzee turned into Shotzee.  This is a stellar game we created where you take a shot of tequila whenever anybody gets a Yahtzee.  Everybody is a winner! 

A traveling companion is making a movie of the trip.  The trailer has been released. 

What will 2010 hold in store for all of us?  I envision a winter of movies and wine and fires and a spring and summer making our yard a wonderful place in which to get hammered.  Hopefully I'll finish unpacking at some point in there.  And then...other fun stuff, too.

Big hugs and happy 2010.  Let's party soon.

xo,

Joneser

Lunch

This has been a gigantic party weekend.  Yesterday was rough, but my hangover eased up just as it was time to go out and get drunk again.  I drank enough to think that I could rap at karaoke, which is always a good/terrible sign.

Today we've been hustling to get packed and organized.  I did so happily knowing that we planned on lunch from my favorite North Portland restaurant, Eddie's.  Jesus Christ, it is so fucking good.  Don't be fooled by its boring appearance and interior; the food is slammin'.  The salads normally rock my world, but today's hangover and drizzly weather compelled me to try the hot veggie sandwich, and holy shit am I glad I did.  It was so greasy, huge, cheesy, satisfying.  I only ate half and feel close to dying of fullness. 

I'm going to go back to work in hopes that I can become hungry enough later tonight to eat the second half.  This an important goal.

Folks: if you're in North Portland, or even if you're not, check out Eddie's for maximum comfort food hangover relief.  It is like giving your stomach a huge hug which might be a little bit painful, but still feels so, so good.

Annual reminder that I am too old for tequila

Yesterday was a bad day.

I'd gone to my hometown Saturday evening because my friend's parents have a nice house and they were out of town.  You can take the girl out of the small town, but you can't make her not want to get hammered in it.  I got very, very drunk with a few people I've known for many, many years, and had a wonderful time.  Vodka?  Sure! Pumpkin beer?  Shit yes!  Shots of tequila that you found in the liquor cabinet that looks pre-Zapata?  No, I'm not drunk enough to make that mistake, well, okay, but only a few.

Ugh, REGRET!  Tequila is simply never a good idea, especially on top of a large dinner and other kinds of booze.  I woke up Sunday morning with a headache, and figured that coffee and water would make it go away eventually, but NO, the pain only got worse as the morning dragged on, and it also called up its buddy, nausea, to crash the hangover party.  By the time my friends were getting ready to find brunch, I could barely open my eyes and was taking deep breaths so I wouldn't make a yammy on their grownup furniture.

Then they left for breakfast, and I got found a bathroom to barf in.  Let's call it "opposite breakfast."  Thinking that was sufficient, I took some ibuprofen and chugged water and waited for the pain to subside.  But NO, more barfing followed. 

Why party rafts are worth the cost, time inflating, time deflating, and storage issues.

Last weekend was my annual family camping trip to Timothy Lake.  I have many aunts, uncles, and cousins and several in our group of 23 (myself included!) have a fondness for the drink.  And gambling.  We like to drink and gamble while experiencing nature.  This is family bonding at its finest, folks, made even more beautiful and excellent by how we got to spend Saturday:

  

What you are looking at is the Paradise Island party raft, aka a giant innertube with cupholders, aka one of the best things to ever happen to my family.  In this picture there are 4 adults and 2 little ones sitting comfortably on the raft.  The air was warm, the lake was clear and cold, the view was some quality American scenery.  We jumped off and climbed back on and sat more.

My headache and general exhaustion caused by drinking too much on day one was soothed by hours floating on a lake. It is, truly, one of the best places to be hungover, assuming you do not get seasick.  There were sodas and beers in a bag tied to the boat, and (don't judge me) an easily accessible place to go #1.  

A downside to the experience was the huge amount of time and energy spent getting the fucking thing inflated. Do NOT attempt to inflate by mouth.  That will make you throw up and want to quit smoking, neither of which are good ways to feel. It is really, really large.  We blew threw batteries of 3 air mattress pumps to get the bitch floating, but it was absolutely worth it. 

My stepdad bought that thing at Costco.  You might see it some day and say "whatever, too much work, not enough awesome."  You'll be wrong and stupid to pass it by.  It is better than appears on the box.

Take another look at that picture.  America: fuck yeah.

Oh my, don't we love these Saturdays of July....Let's have fun on a budget!

It will be warm and wonderful tomorrow.  How do sunny days make your friends so beautiful, the songs so perfect, and the beer so delicious?  Be hungover, get a hangover, whatever - weekends of Portland summer are fucking amazing. 

And they can be so cheap!

Here are some highlights of my hungover/getting hungover summer Saturdays thus far, and recommendations for my budget-conscious boozehound readers:

Laying in the yard with a book while my boyfriend plays guitar and my cat wanders around, purring.

Supplies needed: guitar, cat, book, and somebody who plays guitar
Cost: free!

Grilling fresh summer vegetables

Supplies needed: whatever veggies you can get for free, some salt, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and a hot grill
Cost: free, if you've got a friend or relative with too much ripe produce.  (I do.)  But still, less than $5 for a zucchini, a couple of bell peppers, and an onion. 

On days like today, if I squint enough, my boyfriend kinda looks like Jeff Goldblum

Or maybe Bill Pullman???

Anyways, Independence day 2009!!!!  Who else wants to punch some fucking aliens?  I tell ya what, let's punch them with ice cold beer, lemonade (for all my homies in AA, and for my homies who like to mix it with their PBR), kiddie pools, mayonnaise-based salads, chips, short shorts, and totally excusable outfits of only red, white and blue. 

I am not being ironic.  Anybody else remember a patriotic holiday in the last many years in which you did NOT say "I'm not really into the USA, I just like fireworks and getting wasted"?  Not this year, guys!

It is a year to celebrate for many, many reasons.  We are wearing shades not only because it is a million degrees and we are Oregonians, but because our futures are so goddamn bright.

Get out there, my bitches, and do it fucking right.

I wish I'd slept longer, but goddamn do I love my cats.

[I wrote this about 7.5 hours ago, and then our internet connection shit the bed.  I would move on, but it was really annoying, and I really like excuses to post about my cats, so here you go, no edits!]

Good morning.

Jeez, I got d-RUNK last night!  Since Friday was so low-key, I decided to really give it my all last night.  We lasted a while at the Side St with several beers, a party pizza, and some totchos, and then moved over to friends' house for some more beer and some board games.  WOOooo PARTYYYYYY!!!!! We rocked the Taboo until close to 1am, and when we got home stayed up even later watching...something super duper awesome and cool that was NOT Norah Jones on Austin City Limits.

Anyways, I'm not normally one to stay up very late, and I've been known to feel crappy the morning after drinking 8 beers.  I guess you'd think I'd be pretty disappointed to be wide awake before 8am, right?  No!  Well, kind of. 

A little bit ago, as I stirred in bed thinking about my headache and impending gas, I noticed that our cat Maggie was sleeping between our pillows.  Awww!!  And THEN I realized that below her, smushed even deeper between our pillows and our headboard, was our other cat, Steven.  And they were licking each others faces.  It was the cutest fucking thing in the world, and an absolutely wonderful way to wake up.  I stared in awe for a while, and once I decided to risk dizziness and hop out of bed to grab my camera, they took off.

Since I missed that photo op, let me instead share with you a recent pic of their adorableness.

And on with the day! 

Outside.

Pretty fucking nice out there, isn't it?  My bf and I went for a long walk.  After the brutality of the morning's hangover and the getting stoned and eating, it hit the spot. 

Lovely.

And we had a good giggle fest over this:

Somebody built a fence right over their steps.  Freaking weirdos.

Off to enjoy some more of the day.  Next order of business: apple pear crisp!

And then this happened.

You're looking at potatoes, oniony eggs, cheddar cheese, tomatoes, and sour cream on a corn tortilla, dark coffee, sparkling lemonade, hot sauce, and the lovely flowers JR bought me. 

It's one hell of a day.

And now this is happening: I'm really stoned. 

This is a hangover for the books, guys. 

More later.