HUNGOVER PORTLAND

It is still winter, after all.

I don't write much about fashion on this blog because 1) it is boring to many; 2) a gazillion bloggers do it better, and 3) laaaaaaaaaaazy.  And if I did blog about fashion, I'd probably avoid Dolce & Gabbana, which is so not my style.  But the past few days have felt like dreary Portland winter again, and when I saw these runway pics on jezebel, I made a little squeal sound. 

I envision me and some girlfriends in a little cabin somewhere near nature.  It is stormy outside; we have several pillows and hot toddies....

There is a nice fire going.  We can smoke long cigarettes and share lots of wonderful gossip.  It may be gray outside, but here it is so cozy!  Oh, is the fire a little warm?  That's cool, let's just slip on the shorts version...

Sigh.  I want those ridiculous sweater jumpers too, too much.  This last month of winter lounging will suck because I know those outfits exist and I do not have them...

Geeky stuff that IS geeky.

I have this monster writing project going at work right now.  With my excessive wine consumption in its second week, the project is going slowly and I found time to catch up on some of my fave blogs.

Heartless Doll, recently put together an excellent list of things that people like to love because they think they are geeky but are actually cool.  Living in the crafty/cool nerd haven that is Portland, I lol'ed several times, because it is so fucking true.  I am sick of these over-self-identifying cool kids making the true geeks feel bad because, come on, they're still not gonna get a seat at the cool-geek table. 

I've composed my own list of stuff that is geeky that is actually geeky.  This is not comprehensive, or in any real order:

It's like the world just wants me to be happy.

Lady Gaga and Elton John will soon be performing together at the Grammys.

Fuck me, this is going to be awesome.

Turn on your televisions in 30.

Halloweeeeeeeeiner glue and spraypaint

Good morning, angels. It is Halloween! Exciting, right?  I accidentally drank too much last night.  It was a rough week in Jonesertown.  Headache.

I have mixed feelings about this day.  Much like New Year's Eve, Halloween brings out some jerk-offs, and there is this huge pressure to do something memorable and epic.  I'm an adult; the calendar should not be the boss of me. 

I went from age 13 to 26 without preparing a Halloween costume, and the last couple years have worn things handed to me by friends.  But this year I'm making something and I think it will be magical.  Here is a sneak preview:

Can you guess what I am?

I have to put the finishing touches on it today.  That means I'll be sitting in a small basement room using spraypaint and glue.  Will the fumes help or hurt me eliminate this hangover by party time tonight?  Jeez, I suspect that they won't.  I hope this hangover does not ruin my likelihood of earning another one for tomorrow.

Shit, time for some serious self-improvement.  Thank little baby Halloween Jesus for leftover enchiladas and lemonade.  Oh, and tv.

Art.

We are buying a house.  Yay!  Dreaming about how to remodel and decorate is a blast.  I'm envisioning a living room wall covered in these:

The masturbating dinosaur will never judge you for bad breath or eating your 4th bowl of cereal in one sitting.  It is a masturbating dinosaur.

Thanks, regretsy.

Jean shorts

When I returned to Bloggieland after leave of absence, I stated that I would discuss tackle such hot topics as wearing shorts.  Well, months have elapsed, and summer is officially gone.  I have worn the shit out of my jean shorts this summer. 

I thought about posting pics of my favorite summer weekends in the jean shorts, but...uhh...there were too many.  I should get some new clothes?

But would you?

Yeah, bitches - my knees have been feeling summer breezes all over the great northwest. I like to wear them on a warm hungover weekend day because I do not have to sit ladylike like I would in a dress, and I still look cute.

The shorts above are the only ones I have.  The trick to not feeling like I am 10 years late to a Forever 21 sale was finding the right fit.  The mid-thigh length is on the lame side; I think it makes clear that I am not trying to recapture a cellulite-free youth.  But the tight fit reminds me that I'm a young woman, and not a suburban mom.  They're not skin-tight, though - I dunno, I think that I could be rejected both by the staff of American Apparel and Eddie Bauer, which is usually where I like my cards to fall.

These shorts are old Levi 501s.  Men's pants are unflattering on my stumpy body, so I went Mariah Carey-style and cut off the waistband. 

There you have it.  I like to wear jean shorts when I am hungover, or even when I am not.

I'm off to house-shop now.  (EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!) Bye!