HUNGOVER PORTLAND

What blog?

Hi, friends.  I have been moving and nesting and opening and closing boxes for the last several weeks.  There has been drinking, sure, but little time to feel sorry for myself.  I'll fill you in on the funny stuff later.  Until then, enjoy your hot-buttered rums and plentiful excuses to be lazy inside.

 

Pic from here.

Derby day!

One too many beers last night!  I slept in!  Now eating egg sandwiches and heading shortly to the Adult Soapbox Derby!  See you wackos there!!!!

Check it:
This is my bf's summary from last year.

The week of mystery hangover ripoffs

This has been a fairly busy week in Joneser land, both personally and professionally.  And it's been hot out, right?  I've made the obvious decision to enjoy a couple brewdogs or glasses of wine each night this week.  I'm not partying, just relaxing.

So imagine my fucking ripped-off dismay when I've been waking up with a headache each night this week.  Two beers?  Two fucking weasly little beers give me headaches now??  Aw HELL no.  Being 27 = lame sauce served on disappointment with a glass of wasted youth.

I think after the Monday hangover, drinking the rest of the week was just to prove the anomoly.  It was a kind of stupid idea born from my inability to accept my aging liver.  Christ, I'm no scientist; instead, just a lady who has been squinting an awful lot at work.

I haven't bothered to blog up each individual event, because none seemed worthwhile, but this is day 5 AND Friday and I'm looking forward to finishing a busy week of work stress and pansy drinking by getting hammered at some friends' band's show.  [I'd hyperlink to it but bar not in internet?  Oh shit, I'm so underground.]

Anyhoo, a couple of radical things also happened this week.  They are inside the computer jump.  Click for success!

On days like today, if I squint enough, my boyfriend kinda looks like Jeff Goldblum

Or maybe Bill Pullman???

Anyways, Independence day 2009!!!!  Who else wants to punch some fucking aliens?  I tell ya what, let's punch them with ice cold beer, lemonade (for all my homies in AA, and for my homies who like to mix it with their PBR), kiddie pools, mayonnaise-based salads, chips, short shorts, and totally excusable outfits of only red, white and blue. 

I am not being ironic.  Anybody else remember a patriotic holiday in the last many years in which you did NOT say "I'm not really into the USA, I just like fireworks and getting wasted"?  Not this year, guys!

It is a year to celebrate for many, many reasons.  We are wearing shades not only because it is a million degrees and we are Oregonians, but because our futures are so goddamn bright.

Get out there, my bitches, and do it fucking right.

Outside.

Pretty fucking nice out there, isn't it?  My bf and I went for a long walk.  After the brutality of the morning's hangover and the getting stoned and eating, it hit the spot. 

Lovely.

And we had a good giggle fest over this:

Somebody built a fence right over their steps.  Freaking weirdos.

Off to enjoy some more of the day.  Next order of business: apple pear crisp!

100 days

Today is the arbitrary deadline for the president to deserve the votes we already gave him.  So far he has stopped the use of torture, cured the economy of swine flu, made us a tiny bit less poor than before, scheduled non-arbitrary deadlines for our wars, sternly talked to automakers and bankers, adopted puppy Kennedy, and fist-jabbed the world with his American brand of awesome.

What the shit have I done with the last 100 days, you ask? 

1. I have changed from one office job to another in which I do mainly the same thing, but I can wear jeans whenever and I don't have to record every accomplished task on 4 different forms. Rad, yes?  Yes.
2.  I moved to North Portland to live with my handsome boyfriend.  He has Electric Light Orchestra on vinyl and a cat.
3. I have acquired a buddy for my wonderful cat, Maggie.  His name is Steven, he sheds like a motherfucker, ignores us except for when he's hungry, and is Maggie's bff.  They snuggle and my heart melts.
4. I've learned that ELO rocks.  Who knew?  I didn't.
5. I rewatched Empire Records.  Still kicks ass, even with the soundtrack featuring Goo Goo Dolls.
6. I had fun on the beach.  Last time I spent a weekend there I came back with a boyfriend.  This time only a mild hangover.
7. I've thought more about grad school.  Haven't done anything about it, but I've thought about it.  That's action you can believe in, my friends.
8. I got a nice new bed and comforter set. 
9. I have visited both sets of parents.  They continue to rock.
10. I've planned my next tropical vacation.
11. And most pertinent to this blog - I've started drinking again.  (And smoking.  But only temporarily, I mean it.)

Hmm...I guess there is much less for a 26-year-old semi-professional lady to do than the leader of the free world.  When "starting drinking" makes the short list of things I've gotten done, really makes me think "uhhh...not presidential material, I guess?"  I've been having a good time, though, so I guess I'm okay with that not being my job. 

But more important than the last 100 days is the next 100, both for Barry and for me.  In 100 days it will be August 7 and still wonderful Oregon summer.  I'll be 27 by then, and doubtlessly wiser.   And who knows what other fun things I'll have accomplished!  I hope lots of good ones.  And I hope I am not too busy getting wasted, sleeping, listening to ELO and playing with cats to record them here for sharing with you.

xoxo

RIP Dorothy

Sad news today: the fabulous Bea Arthur passed away. :(

Dorothy was always my favorite Golden Girl.  I even recently took a facebook quiz that told me I was her!  Anyways, I found an excellent montage of her best moments on GG.  Pretend you're eating cereal at your grandparents' house, and enjoy.

Shhhhhh. Kitties.

The comments over on blogtown have been near-unreadable lately, what with our mayor's sex life and the merits of bacon being fiercely debated.

There was a real fleck of gold found in that shit-stream (to which I unashamedly contribute). I've liberated it and am sharing with you people, just like our socialist pres would want me to do:



You're welcome.

Comrade Joneser

Thanks, ROM.

Songs for a Happy Inauguration Day!

We are not the hungover states of America, or the sober states of America, we are the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

President Barack Obama.

This is a good day.

This day makes me keep humming "Hail to the Chief," and thinking about the Jack Lemmon movie "My Fellow Americans," in which two former presidents admit their made-up lines to the song, which include "Hail to the Cheif, he's the cheif and he needs hailing; hail to the cheif, so everybody hail like crazy" and "Hail to the chief, if you don't I'll have to kill you; hail to the cheif, or you better watch your step, you bastards." 

It also makes me think "NA NA NA NA.  NA NA NA NA.  HEY HEY HEY.  GOODBYE."

Hugs.

Our national hangover

Thank sweet fucking Christ, it's almost over.