HUNGOVER PORTLAND

Shhhhhh. Kitties.

The comments over on blogtown have been near-unreadable lately, what with our mayor's sex life and the merits of bacon being fiercely debated.

There was a real fleck of gold found in that shit-stream (to which I unashamedly contribute). I've liberated it and am sharing with you people, just like our socialist pres would want me to do:



You're welcome.

Comrade Joneser

Thanks, ROM.

Happy-Go-Lucky: okay, but barely

On a sober weeknight a couple days back, my bf and I checked out this movie at the Laurelhurst.  I was not in any way hungover, or even drinking.  However, I know my hungover self very well, and this is how I think I would have reacted had I been watching a 2pm showing on a Saturday after a major Friday night:

Last night I partied wicked hard and today I felt like crap.  I was all "wooo!!" and then I was all "whooooaaa."  I was so far out on the crap ledge that not even an egg sandwich or some sparkling water could talk me back. Serious hangover, indeed. 

Thankfully I had $4, an itch for something light and chipper, and a polite boyfriend.  We wasted the sunlight on a dark theater, and I'll be honest - I feared the worst. I'd read that the movie was not annoying, but I just couldn't believe that a character described as such an optimist couldn't make me despise the movie, and the world in general.  (Fluffy movies on a hangover make me a bit stabby sometimes.)

But it was good a delight!  Maybe because I'd so much feared a British Amelie with thicker bangs, and without the charming subtitles, I so appreciated how completely watchable the movie was.  While I don't really get how a modern woman could go NOT aggro on her surroundings from time to time, I couldn't really fault the character for trying, because I liked her, her wardrobe (esp. the boots!), and her friends.

My hangover was nearly forgotten while I strained to understand those exotic accents and giggled at what I could understand.  The movie was charming without being offensive, which is a quality I hope to someday hold myself. 

Drinking beer helped, too.  Doi.

It won't be winter much longer, and eventually we're going to have to start going outside again.  Do yourself and your hangover a favor by getting to this movie soon.

See how I made it seem like I actually WAS hungover??  Soon, lovers, and forever.  February is just around the corner...

GUEST BLOG: Double your stoned mornings, double the hangover fun!

[Hey guys!  Last night I stayed in, but my friends were out and partying it up.  This bestie texted me around midnight to let me know that it was snowing!!!  And she wasted EEEEE drunky drunk drunk!  So cute.  Anyways, I guess she felt worse for the wear in the early a.m., and had some stoned hangover sentiments to share at 7 this morning.  Enjoy!]

Hi.  It's Pam. Pam from Portland.  Here to talk to you about the importance of pot for the early morning hangover.  Hear me out.  We all know that sometimes the only way to really beat the first signs of a killer hangover is to sleep, sleep, sleep.  But how will you get there?  How do you go from giggling in bed at 6am with your boyfriend- to knocked out with hopes of at least 4 more hours of unconsciousness?  I'll tell you my friends... with weed.  

After an early and very unexpected jolt into consciousness, some of us are blessed with the ability to fall gently back into the sleepy wonderland that is Sunday morning.  Me?  I'm wired to be up and at 'em by 5:30am... 70% of the time.  That can really mess with your weekend mornings.  Luckily I have a little something to dull my senses and soothe me back into a flannel filled dreamland. 

Thanks to this magic cure I can put off the realization that maybe I didn't sound as awesome as I thought I did at karaoke.  Maybe I shouldn't have had those last 3 rum and cokes.  Maybe I HAD "had enough." Maybe, maybe, maybe.  All I know is... I just had a bonus Sunday morning and am working on Sunday Morning #2 in a few hours.  What a deal.

Could this be the answer to all our questions?  Could I be the next Bonnie Raitt?  Maybe.  I'll sleep on it... g'night.

[I love this woman. - Joneser]

Bi-polar January jams

This month has had its ups and downs, for sure.  I've been barely drinking, which is both lame (boring) and rad (accomplishing tasks, feeling okay).  I've spent a lot of time on this sexy computer or jammin' out on my iPod, sometimes when I'm depressed and other times when I'm borderline giddy

Two songs have been majorly feeling my January thus far: for being mopey, I enjoy listening to the under-appreciated Mary J. Blige jam "No More Drama."  When I'm feeling up, I seriously nod my head to Kanye West's "Champion."

Too obvious?  Maybe.  But these are my goddamn mood swings, and those songs have been just what I've needed.

Feeling either sad or happy?  What about this: are you currently relating more to soap operas or puppets?

For me, it's been a Saturday for both.  Hope they help you in some way.

And big yays, this month is almost over.

[Sorry couldn't embed the videos.  "Disabled by request" BOOOOOO.]

Songs for a Happy Inauguration Day!

We are not the hungover states of America, or the sober states of America, we are the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

President Barack Obama.

This is a good day.

This day makes me keep humming "Hail to the Chief," and thinking about the Jack Lemmon movie "My Fellow Americans," in which two former presidents admit their made-up lines to the song, which include "Hail to the Cheif, he's the cheif and he needs hailing; hail to the cheif, so everybody hail like crazy" and "Hail to the chief, if you don't I'll have to kill you; hail to the cheif, or you better watch your step, you bastards." 

It also makes me think "NA NA NA NA.  NA NA NA NA.  HEY HEY HEY.  GOODBYE."

Hugs.

"That's too big." That's what I said. Taqueria Lindo Michoacan.

On Saturday afternoon, the bloody mary with my girlfriends was less than satisfying, and I didn't last long browsing Village Merchants before getting that "LAY OFF ME I'M STARVING" attitude.  I needed something fast.  Really, really fast.  And I was in luck.

In the parking lot of The Merch is Taqueria Lindo Michoacan, a little cart with a big menu.  I ordered a chile relleno burrito, which was a bit more expensive than the regular veggie at $4.50.  The wait was long-ish, but the result: one motherfucking heavy burrito.  I was nearly shaking with anticipation and hunger.

My girlfriends were on their way to other errands, so I left them and talked to my boyfriend.  We wanted to hang out, but I couldn't ignore this burrito.  "I'll stop by," I said, "but I have to do something serious with this burrito.  I won't try to look cute..  Don't judge me for what is about to happen, and I'm there."

Granted, I was so starving that I would have demolished just about anything in front of me, but really - that was a fucking DELICIOUS gutbomb.  Once the foil was peeled back and the green sauce drizzled, I couldn't imagine anything else being nearly as awesome, ever.

My boyfriend fell in love with me all over again as I showed that burrito who was boss.  [FYI, I AM THE BOSS.]  But then the burrito guilt set in.  I hadn't eaten in a while, and that rapid inhaling of the burrito was a body shock to say the least.  I got a little mopey and depressed, then tried to talk about other things to forget about what I'd just done.  I tried to bargain my way out of it.  Eventually I accepted the pain and planned on wearing baggy clothes for the rest of the day.

It was a really big burrito.  Too big, if you ask me.  That's what she said.  Shut up.

I'm glad I got it, and it was undeniably tasty.  Seriously.  Homemade tortillas even!!  And awesome sauces.  In the future I'll eat a bit more slowly and probably not eat it all in one sitting.  When you're so hungover you feel like you just cannot get full, I dare you to say that after polishing off one of these fuckers.

Caffe Pallino: No Boys Allowed!!

Even thought I'm working on staying off the sauce this month, I caved on Friday night and allowed myself a few glasses of red wine to shake a rough week.  It was okay.  Yesterday morning I felt pretty much fine - barely even a reintroduction into a Saturday hangover, really - but I was sassy enough to seek out my favorite lady friends for a giggly afternoon.

We started off at Caffe Pallino, a little spot on SE Division.  We really wanted to end up at the Village Merchants, so the lunch pick was more for proximity to shopping than anything else.  I'd been there once before and remembered only that the coffee took forever, and the large cookie wasn't large enough.  Plus I kinda hate ordering standing up.  I wasn't really hungry, but while gossiping with my friends in line, I saw a sign for Bloody Marys and before I could even remind myself that I wasn't drinking anymore, I'd placed an order and was fishing out my debit card.

My girlfriends also ordered some random items, including coffee stuff, salad, and a greek plate.  I wasn't impressed by much of it, to be honest.  Everything took way too long.  However, we got a nice table by the huge windows and kept warm while wearing sunglasses inside.  It felt very similar to...a television program...featuring women...in a city...discussing...intercourse....except we're younger, and dressed more comfortably. 

The bloody mary wasn't great (I had to pour in a bit of tabasco to make it interesting) but the extended amount of time I spent sipping it and saying both serious and silly things was a wonderful start to a bright and freezing afternoon. 

I'll remember yesterday's lunch fondly, although I won't recommend the locale to anybody else, and I'd be perfectly content to never go back.  Had I had a noteworthy hangover, I probably would have had a much worse attitude. 

Our national hangover

Thank sweet fucking Christ, it's almost over.

Still at work and daydreaming over lunch...

I'm sipping some soup and trolling the blogs from my desk.

Have I mentioned recently that I quit smoking?  I thought I was getting over it.

Then I saw this picture of the adorable-yet-foxy-and-undespisable Mila Kunis.

Even with the zombie makeup, it's just such a beautiful thing.

*sigh*

**really deep sigh**

Back to work.

Something nice if you're on hold this morning.

Hi, lovers.  I'm currently at work and on hold with a bureaucratic monster, thinking about all of you. And thinking about...well, lots of other things besides work.

I am once again totally the opposite of hungover this morning.  Last night was book club, where we usually down more bottles of wine than we have members, but I passed, and totally blew the club average.  Sorry, ladies!  I'll get you back next month. 

Anyways, one of my fantastic and pretty friends alerted me to her blog.  For those of you who feel cuddly and fogged in and wanting something soft and pretty, check it out...HERE!!  (It's best for girls, fyi.)

Still on hold, drifting off to other internet locales, gotta go.  Have nice Thursdays!  I hope you are visited by several attractive people and/or things, and that you make out with somebody nice. 

xoxo